Thread: Own poems

jen1948

Pirate

by jen



I`v sailed a few seas
Seen a few things .
Done a few deeds I`m not proud
But then a man of my stance
I`m sure you would say
Is entitled to stand out in a crowd.
Some call me a pirate
But what`s in a name
Adventures for me are called danger
I `v aimed flintlock at man
seen blood run the decks
lost my hand right down to the finger.
Drops of sweet brandy have passed my own lips
On many a night I`v been drunk.
But then a man of my stance
I`m sure you would say
Is entitled to take the odd chance.
Take for example the crow who did perch ,
One day on my shoulder so firm
Would look ridicules on many
But me being me
I`m no modest faint-hearted bookworm .
So let it be said I`ll be remembered as thus
I`ll go down in a history book
Of a man with one eye and long flowing hair
and a hand made in the shape of a hook.

Chris

Loved it well done Jen

petal

Bills put a lock on the downstairs door
To the room the fridge/freezers in
The reason - well it was pasties for dinner
Till he looked and they'd gone missin'

Now our oldest lad here started work
On Monday so takes a packed lunch
Normally sandwiches - but both of us thought
He'd had pasties two days on the run !

Once there were four - dinner we thought
With some beans and potatos to add
Bill looked - only two !!! We knew who'd had 'em
Bill wasn't best pleased with our lad.

Don;t mind if he asks at least then we know
But with dinner in mind they'd been bought
And today when the pasties reduced their number
We'll have 'toad in the hole' - least we thought !

Sausages ?? Nowhere - gone in a flash
Where ? Now this our lad denies
I'm not so sure - I know he's quite partial
To late night fry ups with french fries !

Also in this room that houses the freezer
Are cupboards.......sort of screwdriver store
And hammers and nails, nut and bolts and all that
But - ooops ! - we've screwdrivers no more !!

Where they've gone to ? Anyone's guess
Probably underneath our lad's bed
And whats more annoying is that Bill had planned
To clean the front windows instead !

Oh well, these things happen - maybe tomorrow
My windows will let some light in
Cos now they''re so mucky -might as well have nets
The light is decidedly dim !

Fingers crossed that he cleans them tomorrow
So I can have daylight at last
And see without having my light on
At least before this week has past !!!




Sorry - bit pathetic and loads more has gone on leaving the brain a teeny bit numb.............

petal

Well what a bloomin' weekend
Started with a phone call
Bill's brother rang to say his Mum
Had had a nasty fall

She's brittle bones and broke her hip
Replacement hip the doctor said
The hospital did that yesterday
Honest, I feel like a week in bed !!

We worried so much how she'd be
But so far things seem ok
Bit queazy and blood pressure dropped
But there wasn't much else to say

Every time the phone rang
We jumped, hearts missed a beat
Bad night last night - today bad hair day
And suffering from lack of heat !!

It's poured with rain and been darn cold
Bills put the heating on
But I'm still waiting to feel warm
(I hope it ain't gone wrong !!)

The heating manual's double dutch
We're not meant to understand
Figure L and Figure F
And something about a fan ??

The boiler's due for a service
End of the month they said
Till then I can see me diving
Beneath my quilt in bed !

I'll ring them in the morning
If it's still not right - and wear a hat
We tried to hold off till November
Prices rises and all that !

But there seems no point in being cold
I've got my cardi on
Two jumpers thick socks and a skirt,
A woollen one thats long.

Can't wear many more layers
Else I'll look like Michelen man
Talk about 'does my bum look big in this'
Bill will look like Desparate Dan !

Between us we'll be stuck inside
Doors won't be wide enough
We'll be destined just to stay indoors
Till the heating man does his 'stuff'

So, fingers crossed, it will work
And warmth comes flowing through
Our poor cold radiators
Before my toes turn blue !!

______________________________________________


Oh dear - I feel an idiot
I rang the boiler folk
She must have thought me quite deranged
Or playing one big joke

'Have you switched it on' she asked
'Yes' I said, thinking -fancy asking that !
Then she said now go and look
At your room thermostat

I went and looked - zero it said
No wonder there's no heat !
Oh she did laugh - well so did I
Nearly fell off my seat !

I'd moaned about the 'users guide'
Told her it was double dutch
And told her 'the boiler ought to work
I'm not asking for much !'

And as we finished laughing
About me being a moron
I felt my radiator......oh such joy
Such warmth - the heatings on !!!!

Chris

Glad heating on for you as i know mary , you dont do cold

petal

Cold I don't do Chris -you're right
I really really tried
To hold off putting heating on
The bills will be so high
But could see myself in woolly hat
Mittens and a scarf
Sat here at the computer
Giving you a laugh !
Extra layers by the ton
Socks like builders wear
I'd start to look like my gran did
Complete with the grey hair.
So,no more am I freezing
But I really must discover
Exactly how to switch it on
In case Bill goes to his mothers
Now I haven't got a clue
I've looked at dials and knobs
But clueless me.......I've always seen
These things as 'Men's jobs'

Chris

Hello little room time to dust and sweep

Just in case a vistor come we must stay neat

Everyone busy doing names

I pop off for a few word games

Light and slizzy beat me each time

On Lights daft rhymes play when work done

But must say its great fun

Relax play when work done

So little room you not forgotten

I still visit you quite often

Do miss the others but they busy

Theyll be back so dont get in a dizzy

Ive left a sort of rhyme not good

But heck its me as if they would

petal

Oh - thanks Chris , you've saved me the job
Of fighting through the dust
To pen the 'life and times of me'
I've eaten my dinner - well, just !

Well what a week. kids run amok
WW3 broke out Monday night
Little lad said something about some girl
And our older lad - there was a fight !!

Oldest lad shouted - oh he was mad
Young lad said 'wasn't me !!'
Older lad said 'oh yes it was
My mate told me - so there - ' shouted he

Much carryings on - Bill split them up
Before they committed a crime
And near killed each other - oh what a fright
I nearly went out of my mind.

Young lad went out and wouldn't come in
Older lad went up to bed
Midnight approached -despite many pleas
Young lad was with neighbours daughter instead !

Bless her, for 14 she's really a gem
She talked some sense into this lad
He sheepishly came and walked in the door
His behaviour's not always this bad.

Next day he was good - went off to school
Older boy said 'sorry mate'
So all settled down in our manic household
But peace was not to be our fate.

Today young lad went out with a worker
To gives us a break -played some pool
That was the idea till our lad went berserk
Threw a pool ball, generally acted the fool !

He came home all sulking, said 'school ? I'm not going
Don't want to, so there and thats that !'
Instead he went off and caused havoc
At the youth club - from there now he's banned !

He came home again all sulky
And then got his fishing rod out
Waved it around - I said 'stop that'
(been my son he'd have had a clout !)

Bill came home - said 'whats the matter?'
Young lad grunted - 'nothing' he said
Dinner was cooked - was his favourite
Eat it ? No - ran off again instead !

He'll come home quite bored and frustrated
Not able to see all his mates
Now he's not to be allowed in the Youth Club
My word, he will be in a state.

The older lad - well, he was due back from work
At 5pm - not been home yet
But at 18 and now like a lodger
He fends for himself -more or less.

So he's not my worry and bless me I'm not
Going to wittle my socks off tonight
Monday was enough -tonight I'll relax
Our young man he can sulk all he likes.

But every bad day has a plus side
I managed to get to the shops
Got some bargains & filled up my shopping bag
I got home and was fit to drop!

Kids ! Who'd have 'em ? Daft folk like me
But the bad days -well they're just a few
Mostly they're good and we have quite a laugh
Not worth getting into a stew.

The builder is due, later this week
There's a hole in the ceiling upstairs
'Twenty quid ' he said - I said ok
That amount my bank balance can bear.

So, now I've offloaded my week - (well so far)
Its cleared out my poor puddled brain
And now I'm off to watch tele
Till the whole lot starts off once again !!

Chris

My dear friend glad i gave it a brush and dust

Just too see your great rhyme was a must xxxxxx

petal

Thankyou Chris -was good for me
To let off some steam
It's been a really awful week
Well much longer it seems............

Today's not been much better
Least out lad went to school
But all morning he just ran amok
And played the bloomin' fool.

So I just carried on and ignored him
Well, best as I could
And said I'd talk to him if he behaved
Like he knows he should.

I got some christmas bits done
Door hangers - I've done four !
Filled a gravy granule tub with gold
(you know - the chocolate sort !)

I've done a 'can of sunshine'
'Canned rainbows' for grandkids
They'll now be quite convinced their Nan
Is off her flippin' lid !

Who cares I know they'll giggle
It's all a bit of fun
And thats what Christmas is about
But I'm not nearly done !

I've a Christmas Eve box to sort out
Of Reindeer Food & Snowman Soup
(its just hot chocolate in a mug)
Done a Santa letter too !

This Nanny lark, well its quite fun
Mind you Chris - you'd better not
Do Christmas Eve boxes - crikey
With yours you'd never stop !