Thread: Own poems

petal

petal

Bill's just come home and told me
The car needs two new tyres
'How much ?' says I, having a panic
'Bout fifty quid' he sighed.

'Well, give or take a pound or two
Or three or four more like'
Be just our luck the price will double
I said - I'll get a bike.

But the last time I rode on two wheels
Was in our old back yard
I had a go on my sons bike
Fell off...............and concrete's hard !

Years ago I'd ride for miles
Around the country lanes
But then I was much younger
Now my balance ain't the same.

I'm hardly safe to go out walking
Let alone be on a bike
And round here there's a lot of hills
And far too many dykes.

So we'll pay up -smile as we do
Say 'Thanks' to the mechanic
Then wait to see what next crops up
To cause us both to panic.

Maybe we'll win the lottery
(Bill has two goes -never forgets)
Birthday dates and a Lucky Dip
Lucky ?? Well not for us.........not yet !

petal

It's raining here & so I thought
I might hoover the floor
And maybe dust - or maybe not
(Housework's such a chore)

I've looked at my home town site
I like to know news and such
'Bout what is happening down there
Though I can't contribute much.

I've googled my mum's family name
Ans found I've got a Peer
Well at least it seems by marriage
How that works I'm not too clear.

I found another chap, a bookbinder
Apprentice at the start
Compositor and typesetter
But he's not from Northants parts.

London he was born and bred
Seems one branch moved down there
Some moved back......some didn't
Did he move back ? And where ?

Oh - the rain's now stopped at last
Shall I go out ? Think not !
But I'm sure you're bored with this by now
So this little rhyme will stop !



(Very silly poem but written while I was very very bored...................lol )

petal

Well what a day - it started out
All quiet and peaceful -then
I got a phone call from a friend
Round about half past ten.

A mutual friend of ours is going
Through a real bad state
His wife has thrown him out his house
So he really needs his mates.

It seems the case has been to court
And he has to leave the house
And sell it then give half to her
As she's his legal spouse.

But she's not lived there for a while
Lived in a caravan
Parked up in the garden
With her 'other man'.

It's been like this for two years now
And caused some mighty rows
But the judge said our friend should leave
And find another house.

He's out of work -what's more bankrupt
Paying off her debts
So all in all and with no home
He's in a sorry mess.

Then my Mum phoned -said she felt sad
Cos she not seen anyone
No-one visits weekends
Then she says 'Oh - snookers on !'

'I'll have to go - I always watch this
I used to with your Dad
I've had my weekly moan to you
Now I don't feel so bad '

Then my friend phoned up again
And said 'What we should do
Is get together, sort this chap out
Cos poor soul, he's not a clue'

She said 'On Monday, please will you
See the solicitor with me
'Yes' says I 'that'll be ok
It's the only day I'm free'.

So Monday we're on a mission
What we can do I just don't know
The Judge said 'no right to appeal'
So I think it's a 'No Go'

But at least we'll both know we tried
To help out this poor chap
And hopefully his wife (soon 'ex')
Will disappear off the map !

(Sorry but I had to get that out my system )

petal

Last Christmas on the Radio
Was a programme with Sean Bean
'Bout the disatrous Christmas
Of a bloke who'd been left it seems.
It took the form of letters
Written to his spouse each day
Giving a blow by blow account
Of the mishaps on the way.

Christmas day it came so close
With Lodgers moving in
The turkey had got eaten
Ostrich meat was next best thing.
The house eventually caught fire
The whole lot moved next door
The husband there had gone missing
With the 'errant wife' of Sean !

Well- anyway this little tale
Was funnier than I can say
So I wrote off to the BBC
Asking them if it was for sale.
They've just replied and sad to say
The answer's a firm 'No'
And hour of Christmas comedy
Not for sale - can I download ?

I don't think so - I've surfed the web
Can;t find it anywhere
Thought of joining Sean Beans fan club
But I won't now.........I don't care.
Though it might not be his fault
To deprive a little soul like me
More like the policies and protocol
Of the bloomin' BBC !

petal

I was going to plant my pansies
Maybe mop the kitchen floor
Then I thought 'maybe tomorrow'
Got my coat-went out the door.

I bought a pen to draw with
A fine line one in black
To illustrate the poems I've printed
For Mum........she'll laugh at that.

I'm not the best at drawing
But can just about get by
With simple people (bit like me)
Well I have a go..............I try.

Then I went to Help the Aged
Saw a bag in nice brown suede
With a sort of plaited leather tie
£2.49p I paid.

On my way out I saw a coat
In cream............I paused and thought
Then a lady in the shop stopped me
'That's just you - go on - get that bought !'

It did look nice so I succumbed
And got it........then I saw
The label said 'Dry Clean Only'
But by then I was out the door !

Oh well I've taken a chance before
With things that say 'dry clean'
And never had a disaster yet
In a low wash on my machine.

Well, that's just about been my day
Oh - our lad's still at home
When he should have been at college
But he said the bus didn't come !

It seems the roads been all dug up
The bus goes a different way
He didn't know that so came home
So he's been here all day.

Bit of a coincidence
I thought - cos it's half term
He wanted money for fishing bait
I said no - so his mate dug up worms !

Bills glossing the woodwork
In the spare bedroom upstairs
So all in all.............not much to say
As I sit here in my chair.

Tomorrow - if I have good luck
Our lad will be away
And life might give me something
That's more interesting to say.

Veldixena

A new thread for poems
Has appeared on this board
So a quick poem I must write
To add to Mary's hoard

Now what has happened since I last wrote
Oh such a lot
Including another Test series win
And my son did tie the knot

The happy couple for some reason
Decided to move in with me
There isn't an awful lot of room
Especially as they are now three

Yes a lovely little grand-daughter
Was born two weeks ago
She is such a little darling
And makes me all aglow

The last two nights they didn't get any sleep
And poor Andy to work had to return
As for me - didn't hear a thing
So it's just them for sleep do yearn

Chris

Vel how nice to see you drop in and leave a rhyme,

Its great seeing you here its been a long time

I know the reasons why, and we send you are love and wishes

Hope youre resting and NOT doing all the dishes

No doubt youre enjoying your new bundle of joy,I dont blame you,its great

But make sure you take care of yourself too we miss you m8 xxxxxxxxxxxx

petal

Look at Shan's 'Thought for Today' Vel
Take a minute...............just for you
A bit of time just for yourself
(You could make that minute two!)

We all need time just for ourselves
But I think I go too far
My 'minutes' turn to hours
(And I don't find that too hard!)

I'm quite lazy by nature
So it's a habit I've long had
Taking time just for myself
Then I see life ain't so bad.

If I spent my time hoovering
Or with a duster or a mop
When would there be a minute
For me ? I'd be fit to drop !

You see after so many years
Of sitting on my bum
The simple art of housework
Is to just not get it done !

One layer of dust's the same as two
Or three or even four
And once the carpet's grubby
Who notices any more ?

Well I don't -maybe I don't look
Or I look but just dont see
Oh eventually I'll do it
But not till I've had this 'time for me'!

petal

Well what a day, I got up quick
My head felt like a brick
I nearly took myself back to bed
Cos it felt so bloomin' thick.

Then the phone rang - A voice said
'I'm coming to mend your gate'
(Some kids had tried to break in
So I put in an insurance claim!)

He said 'I'm on my way now'
I thought.........oh not today
But daren't put him off -oh no
(Least I won't have to pay!)

The chap arrived 'bout half past eight
Else I would have gone back to bed
No chance of that so I took a pill
And hoped it would cure my head !

First they knocked the old gate down
Then put in concrete posts
Then hammered, banged, hammered more
(Would have woken a ghost !)

'Jobs done missus' they said
Handing me the bill
'Will that do ya ? Course it will
Oh my tea - can I have a refil?'

After more refreshments
They went there merry way
Then the phone rang........it was our lad
'College threw me out today !'

Oh eck I thought -what's he done now?
I just don't need this news
He got home........'sorry' he said
'It was the tutor........said I was rude'

'I gave him too much back chat
But he gave the same to me
It's not fair that grown ups
Can do as they like......what's for tea ?'

'Kiev & chips' I said ......'and yes
Your mate can have some too'
(Poor soul is living in a tent;
And he's got holes in his shoes)

On top of that it's raining hard
And really turned quite cold
I've had to put my cardi on
(Bright red with flowers -quite bold !)

But at least my headaches sort of gone
And my Ordnance Survey map came
I can't tell much from what it says
But for two quid I can't complain.

I 'googled' grandmas's cottage
And found out something new
The people living in it now
Call it Pear Tree cottage too !

But they've applied to the council
For another two extensions
Well what was done by them before
Was far too gross to mention !

Still, it's not grandma's house now
Though it seems an awful shame
What they've done to it.......but at least
They've kept the cottage name !