Thread: Own poems

petal

Been waiting for the plumber
Cos a pipe has sprung a leak
From the work done when the boiler
Was fitted in last week.

It's just a little trickle
But I phoned them just the same
After all I'm no plumber
That's supposed to be their game.

'Monday morning ,first thing'
The voice on the phone said
I got up early especially
When I could have stayed in bed !

The Electrician didn't call
And neither did he phone
I rang the heating company
No joy......oh I did moan !

'I've sat at home all day' I said
Having a real old gripe
'The plumber can call Friday'
They said, 'to mend your pipe.'

'Till then get some kitchen roll
Wrap it round the leak
Put a bucket at the bottom
For water - that should last a week !'

'This pipe' I said 'runs down the wall
To the bottom of the stairs
There's no room for a bowl
He said 'well put a small cup there' !!

Well, bless my socks, I said to him
I don't believe my ears
And this electrician -when's he coming
Sometime in New Year ??'

'Now Madam' he said kindly
'I'll try the best I can
And get him to phone you tomorrow
He's a very busy man'

I tried to phone the council
'Bout Mum's costs for the care home
'Is Doreen there' I asked
'Well - she's busy on the phone

'She's had a lot of calls you see'
I said ' I bet she had!
From folk like me, irate, confused
And in a word............plain mad !!'

'I'll leave a message for her
Get her to ring you back'
'Please do' says I and waited
Patience started to lack.

I rang back and she'd gone home
And this was just before five !
Councils! plumbers,! electricians !
My tolerance took a dive !

Social worker phoned me
Our Annual Review is due
For health and criminal record checks
And ID needs to be viewed.

Fifteen years we've done this job
So they know who we are
But every year we have to prove it
And I don't drive a car !

I've got my bus pass with a photo
Household bills to show address
Bill's got his driving license
And by now I'm feeling stressed !

Red tape and those 'men in suits'
The worlds gone blinkin' mad
Workmen who don't come on time
My temper goes from good to bad !

I think I'll tell our social worker
That I just hailed from Mars
My health is fine but I do keep
Small children pickled in jars.

My name I'll say is Wendy
Like the girl in Peter Pan
And Bill ? He's just become Sylvester
And plays in a dance band.

And when the social worker says
'Come on -that's not your name'
I'll say 'well if you know why ask me?
Nothings chanhged - I'm still the same.

Chris

petal

petal

After yesterday's traumas
I had a phone call early today
Electricians coming Thursday morning
Council phoned about fees to pay
I said I wanted to appeal
The lady (she was called Sue)
Said 'I'll pass your message on
And get the papers sent to you'.

All was well in my small world
Even the rain began to stop
I grabbed my bag and off I went
With an urgent need to shop.
I bought my fags and some shampoo
Two jumpers, some bath stuff
For pressies - wrapping paper
Then I thought I'd spent enough.

Home I went -pleased with the world
Poured some coffee in my cup
Then three policeman came knocking
I said 'Oh eck......what's up?'
'It isn't you we want' they said
'We've come about your lad.
Where is he?' I said ' College'
They said 'well he's done something bad'

'We really need to speak to him
Tell us when he gets home.
And we'll come round and see him
Just ring us on the phone '
My heart sank......what had he done now
He's such a daft young lad
And does some stupid things but
Normally nothing bad.

There was no-one at home with me
To talk to - then, like fresh air
Young Jason called to do the garden
(He's the lad with the purple hair)
He knows our lad and all his mates
And knows they play the fool
And lets me know if he sees them doing
Something they shouldn't do.

He was gob-smacked - all news to him
I said 'Well, c'est la vie
If our lads done wrong he'll pay for it
Whatever the price may be.
Then Jason did some gardening
I phoned Bill to tell him all
Then rang the girl who cuts my hair
And told her not to call.

'Cos our house might be bedlam
Or quiet...............no way to tell
Depends what's happened and if our lad
Spends the night inside a cell.
If he does it might teach him
That crime just does not pay
And he'll know I'm mad at him
For spoiling what started out a good day !








All is quiet now in our house
So quiet you could hear a mouse
Our lads gone off in a Police car
Quite willingly.....no fuss ...its not far.
So now I've got some time for 'me'
Till Bill comes home and wants his tea.
Mum phoned......said 'make sure you come
Next week' -I said 'don't worry Mum
Life's too hectic here for me
Move over Mum.......make room for me '

petal

Our lad came back from the police station
About one in the morning
By this time I was waking up
I'd done my share of yawning.

Seems it wasn't quite as bad
As I had first thought
He'd been somewhere he shouldn't
Cameras saw him-he got caught !

Was just a sort of silly prank
As far as I can tell
Police fed him beef and dumplings
Now he don't feel very well.

So he's at home and tucked in bed
I had a meeting at ten
With Social Worker to show my ID
Prove who I am - again !

Jason was coming to do the garden
And I need to go out
But if I go and he turns up
He'll go home - having done nowt !

I've tablets from the doctors
(Should have got them yesterday)
And fags.........well they're in short supply
I'll need them some time today.

My hair I'm having trimmed at six
Must cook dinner before then
Bill can have his microwaved
He won't be home till seven .

I've christmas presents to wrap up
That I'm taking to Mums
No chance of that tomorrow
When the electrician comes !

I'm having a slight panic
Gonna have to make a list
Of 'stuff to do' to stop me
Getting me knickers in a twist.

Cos when this is all written down
It doesn't seem a lot
But in my head it's going round
And round and round - non stop !

So, no good sitting rambling here
I'd best be gone - get it done
If I really get my skates on
I'll be back on here by one !

petal

Well - I've got my hair trimmed
And went and got my fags
Forgot about my tablets
I'll go tomorrow (what a drag!)

Cos half the day our lad's girlfriend
Came round to talk to me
She was so mad 'bout what he'd done
I made her a cup of tea.

I thought she'd almost moved in
She sat and talked till four
Then went off to find our lad
And give him some 'what for !'

Our lad must like the police station
He's in there again tonight
So he'll have beef & dumplings
Bill said 'Chippy?' I said 'right !'

petal

The Electricians woke me up at eight
I said 'Will it take all day ?'
They looked around and scratched their heads
Then said 'No - lunchtime ok?'

The room we emptied last week
To get the floorboards up
Had to be emptied yet again
They did it - I filled coffee cups !

I said 'Make as much noise as you can
Our lad - he's still in bed
He thinks he can have a lie in
But he'll get up instead !'

Get up he did - was oh so nice
'So sorry for last night'
He said - I said 'I should think so
At this rate my hair will turn white !'

All was well - the electricians done
Packed their tools away
Then our lad's mates knocked at the door
I told them 'go away !'

Then I saw them across the road
Shouting at him upstairs
Our lad was hanging out the window
Oh I did shout and swear !

I said 'you're grounded & that lot
Are trouble, you know that'
'I'm bored' says he -want to go out'
I said 'what ? And join the Brat Pack?'

Next thing I knew he ran downstairs
And outside the front door
To meet these so called mates of his
When he should be doing chores !

So now he's out - he won't get in
I've locked windows and doors
If he so wants to be out there
Will it rain ? I hope it pours !

Oh eck, that does sound cruel
But he's really made be mad
He'd said he'd be a good boy now
Not mix with those who are bad.

But that's exactly what he's done
But on a brighter side
It means I have some time for 'me'
So in my Den I'll hide !

petal

Our lad's now turned his brain around
Behaving like a saint
Apologised for what he's done
(I almost thought I'd faint !!)

He's gone off to Skegness now
To help out an old friend
Re-decorate his new flat
Do something useful -make amends.

My old Dyson's found a good home
From the Freecylce web site
Someone needs the plastic bits
And at least they are all alright.

I'm thrilled at last its going
Looked around for some more stuff
To offer on the website
I've loads - more than enough !

And cos it's free to collector
The garage might get cleared
Of stuff we thought we just might need
And didn't...........well, not this year !

I've been and bought my bus ticket
All ready for my Mums
My washing's doing nicely
Churning around in the drum.

The plumber came this morning
And fixed our trickly leak
And had a look -see what was done
(The inspector comes next week!)

I had to ask him something though
And I did feel a prat !
I said 'The heating's not come on'
He said ' It's the thermostat'

'The temperature in here's just right
And when it drops a bit
The heating will click on again'
And he was right - it did !

Jason came to do the garden
Worked so very hard
Weeding, planting, pruning trees
(Was this really my back yard ?)

So today has been a better day
Needs to be after this week !
Is this the start of a new phase
Of life that's hassle free ?

Well I changed my avatar today
To a little girl with holly
So I'm not so 'bah humbug'
And feel a bit more 'jolly'

Cos the festive seasons getting close
'Three weeks to go' Bill said
And I'll miss our Christmas market
I'll be at Mums instead !

There'll be a big tree in reception
Red ribbons everywhere
And before I leave I'll grab some tinsel
To decorate Mum's wheelchair !

petal

I've got a bloomin' blister
(From the kitchen I should be banned!)
I took off a casserole lid too hot
Scalded two fingers on my hand.

I stuck them under the cold tap
Thought that had done the trick
Then two days later a blister same
Then it burst - yuk - I felt sick !

With all the hoo-hah in our house
And late nights going to bed
I never gave it a second thought
Till I knocked it - 'ouch ! ' I said

It went a funny colour - Bill said
'Oh that will be alright'
'Best not get it wet though'
So he washed up tonight !

So this small blister I've got
Though a nuisance it might be
Gets me out of the washing up
For now that quite suits me.

Now should I stick a plaster on it ?
Bill says he's not sure
He reckons exposure to the air
Might be a better cure.

I hope it clears by Monday
Before I get to Mums
She'll spot it in an instant
And say 'Now what have you done?'

So I really need an instant cure
That will take this thing away
So it disappears.........quick as it came
Hopefully within a day !

Now Chris I know you'll read this
So hear me when I say
Kitchens ? Keep well away from them
Let it be hubbys domain !

petal

I thought I'd do my last poem
Before I go away
But its been a real weird morning
So I've not a lot to say.

Phone call from the care home
To hospital Mum's gone
Seem's she had a mini-stroke
Hope she'll not be there long.

This sort of thing has happened
Before and she's rallied round
So I hope she does that this time
So she's ok when I go down.

Theres nothing more that I can say
Sorry to be doom & gloom
While I'm away can you fill with cheer
This little poets room.

Then when I come back I can laugh
At things you lot have done
And hopefully I'll have loads to say
'Bout my visit to my Mum.