Thread: children on tree

anny · 19-08-2007, 05:10 PM

Hi,
I need some advice here - can anyone help ?
When I first started my tree, online, on another site, in my enthusiasm I included our grandchildren, having first okayed it with their parents. I had only thought about their pleasure in being part of it.
But I was soon afterwards made aware, through postings on that site, that this was an unwise thing to do, and immediately removed them.
However, I now find that someone connected to the family has since also started a tree online, and the children now appear again, with names and dates.
Am I right to be feeling uneasy about this ? If so, what should I do about it ? Say something to the tree owner ? Do nothing, because it's none of my business and I don't want to interfere ? Maybe pass the buck to the children's parents and let them say something ?
I really don't want to upset anyone , or make trouble.
What would you do?
Husband doesn't see any problem, says I'm worrying about nothing, Am I ?
What are the risks involved here ?
I'd be grateful for your thoughts on this, guys.
Thanks,
anny.

slizzy · 19-08-2007, 06:14 PM

Hi Anny,

All living people have a right to privacy, it is dicourteous and irresponsible to name any living relative - without their permission - on a family tree. It could be that your relative has put their tree online without thinking about the potential intrusions, and once you make them aware, they will see the possible danger and remove your grand children's names, any reasonable person would. I don't see what legitimate interest a member of the public would have in an unknown child, therefore naming them in family trees is pointless and unnecessary. So, personally I wouldn't hesitate in contacting your relative and asking them to remove your grand children's names.

Starlight · 19-08-2007, 06:24 PM

I Anny,

I have done the same. I have also asked a couple of people if they would mind removing a couple of names and they had no objection to doing this. The only difference here was they were not related to this part of my tree anyway. Most sites will remove names from trees at your request if needed. I now never open my tree to others. If they want information I send what they need via email. This way it also stops the whole tree being copied.
The difference with yours is that the parents gave permission and also the other tree is related. They may also have been given permission.
I think the main problem is that many people use their mother's maiden name as an answer to security questions. If your grandchildren are told in the future to chose a different question, I can't see a problem.

anny · 19-08-2007, 11:45 PM

Thankyou, Slizzy and Starlight, for your replies.
I think you're right, Slizzy, about it being done unthinkingly - after all, that's what I did myself.
I'm pretty sure permission wasn't sought, though, Star, beause my daughters would have told me about being contacted.
Well, neither of you threw up your hands in horror and accused us both of putting the children in any kind of actual danger, so although still not happy about the situation I'm no longer panicking. I can see, though, that I'll need to contact the person in question and ask for the names to be removed.
Thankyou both again.
anny.

lozzie · 21-08-2007, 08:50 PM

Hi Anny

I think its up to individuals about whats on trees...and of course with permission!!

I, myself, would not post details of my own children on the net neither do i have my brothers an sisters an their families online.....they are all on my private tree on my computer. My dad is named as he died a few years ago...but my Mum is classed as LIving lol

I have also found that people do copy your tree into theirs, which i suppose if u give permission to view you are agreeing to it but, unless I have found them myself, I don´t copy peoples trees on to the net....only into my personal tree

Sorry to ramble... lol

take care speak soon

Loz

Starlight · 21-08-2007, 10:28 PM

In the past Genealogy was a past-time of the elderly. Over the last few years I have noticed younger and younger people taking up the hobby. They probably have both of their parents living and possibly all four grandparents. We have to start our tree with ourselves to get any contact at all. If the younger members cannot add parents and grandparents they would be completely stuck if they wanted to connect with others researching the same names. I have noticed a lot of people starting to leave out the parish names and only put approximate dates. Some online trees now give an option to hide living people now as well.

slizzy · 22-08-2007, 12:11 AM

I don't see a problem with publishing details of living people providing those people have given their consent, and are of an age, or mental state to understand what they are agreeing to. However, to publish names and facts of living people without consent is, in my opinion, extremely discourteous and an infringement of privacy. I agree with Lozzie, ie I haven't named any living relatives on my public tree but have them named, with facts, on my FTM database. I think the main concern has to be consideration for others.

19-08-2007, 05:10 PM	#1 (permalink)
anny AA SUPPORTER Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: West Lothian Posts: 11,619 Total Awards: 4	children on tree Hi, I need some advice here - can anyone help ? When I first started my tree, online, on another site, in my enthusiasm I included our grandchildren, having first okayed it with their parents. I had only thought about their pleasure in being part of it. But I was soon afterwards made aware, through postings on that site, that this was an unwise thing to do, and immediately removed them. However, I now find that someone connected to the family has since also started a tree online, and the children now appear again, with names and dates. Am I right to be feeling uneasy about this ? If so, what should I do about it ? Say something to the tree owner ? Do nothing, because it's none of my business and I don't want to interfere ? Maybe pass the buck to the children's parents and let them say something ? I really don't want to upset anyone , or make trouble. What would you do? Husband doesn't see any problem, says I'm worrying about nothing, Am I ? What are the risks involved here ? I'd be grateful for your thoughts on this, guys. Thanks, anny.

19-08-2007, 06:14 PM	#2 (permalink)
slizzy Ancestry Aid Staff Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 15,475 Total Awards: 8	Re: children on tree Hi Anny, All living people have a right to privacy, it is dicourteous and irresponsible to name any living relative - without their permission - on a family tree. It could be that your relative has put their tree online without thinking about the potential intrusions, and once you make them aware, they will see the possible danger and remove your grand children's names, any reasonable person would. I don't see what legitimate interest a member of the public would have in an unknown child, therefore naming them in family trees is pointless and unnecessary. So, personally I wouldn't hesitate in contacting your relative and asking them to remove your grand children's names.

19-08-2007, 06:24 PM	#3 (permalink)
Starlight Ancestry Aid Manager Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: South Essex Posts: 15,907 Total Awards: 8	Re: children on tree I Anny, I have done the same. I have also asked a couple of people if they would mind removing a couple of names and they had no objection to doing this. The only difference here was they were not related to this part of my tree anyway. Most sites will remove names from trees at your request if needed. I now never open my tree to others. If they want information I send what they need via email. This way it also stops the whole tree being copied. The difference with yours is that the parents gave permission and also the other tree is related. They may also have been given permission. I think the main problem is that many people use their mother's maiden name as an answer to security questions. If your grandchildren are told in the future to chose a different question, I can't see a problem. Last edited by Starlight; 19-08-2007 at 06:30 PM.
	Starlight Ancestry Aid Manager Hampshire:- Barks, Bartholomew, Carpenter, Cousens, Cousins, Dumper, Gallagher, Goodchild, Glasspool, Hoskins, Light, Mason, Monday, Mundy, Pearce, Pitt, Shepherd, Spreadbury, Staniford, Terrill, Thornton, Warne, Webb, Woodford & many more. Top Tip: Use the forum search engine

19-08-2007, 11:45 PM	#4 (permalink)
anny AA SUPPORTER Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: West Lothian Posts: 11,619 Total Awards: 4	Re: children on tree Thankyou, Slizzy and Starlight, for your replies. I think you're right, Slizzy, about it being done unthinkingly - after all, that's what I did myself. I'm pretty sure permission wasn't sought, though, Star, beause my daughters would have told me about being contacted. Well, neither of you threw up your hands in horror and accused us both of putting the children in any kind of actual danger, so although still not happy about the situation I'm no longer panicking. I can see, though, that I'll need to contact the person in question and ask for the names to be removed. Thankyou both again. anny.

21-08-2007, 08:50 PM	#5 (permalink)
lozzie AA SUPPORTER Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: At Home Posts: 2,244 Total Awards: 3	Re: children on tree Hi Anny I think its up to individuals about whats on trees...and of course with permission!! I, myself, would not post details of my own children on the net neither do i have my brothers an sisters an their families online.....they are all on my private tree on my computer. My dad is named as he died a few years ago...but my Mum is classed as LIving lol I have also found that people do copy your tree into theirs, which i suppose if u give permission to view you are agreeing to it but, unless I have found them myself, I don´t copy peoples trees on to the net....only into my personal tree Sorry to ramble... lol take care speak soon Loz
	Loz *AKA Billie No Mates* *Researching: Me ancestors!!!!!*

21-08-2007, 10:28 PM	#6 (permalink)
Starlight Ancestry Aid Manager Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: South Essex Posts: 15,907 Total Awards: 8	Re: children on tree In the past Genealogy was a past-time of the elderly. Over the last few years I have noticed younger and younger people taking up the hobby. They probably have both of their parents living and possibly all four grandparents. We have to start our tree with ourselves to get any contact at all. If the younger members cannot add parents and grandparents they would be completely stuck if they wanted to connect with others researching the same names. I have noticed a lot of people starting to leave out the parish names and only put approximate dates. Some online trees now give an option to hide living people now as well.
	Starlight Ancestry Aid Manager Hampshire:- Barks, Bartholomew, Carpenter, Cousens, Cousins, Dumper, Gallagher, Goodchild, Glasspool, Hoskins, Light, Mason, Monday, Mundy, Pearce, Pitt, Shepherd, Spreadbury, Staniford, Terrill, Thornton, Warne, Webb, Woodford & many more. Top Tip: Use the forum search engine

22-08-2007, 12:11 AM	#7 (permalink)
slizzy Ancestry Aid Staff Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 15,475 Total Awards: 8	Re: children on tree I don't see a problem with publishing details of living people providing those people have given their consent, and are of an age, or mental state to understand what they are agreeing to. However, to publish names and facts of living people without consent is, in my opinion, extremely discourteous and an infringement of privacy. I agree with Lozzie, ie I haven't named any living relatives on my public tree but have them named, with facts, on my FTM database. I think the main concern has to be consideration for others.