Thread: Health Discussion

petal · 12-02-2007, 12:41 PM

HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...
Don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up
your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend
the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?
Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat?
Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more
than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need
grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy
vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily
allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that
means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the
goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If
you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise
program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.
In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad
for you?

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO. Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best
feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about
food and diets.

And remember:

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving
safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in
sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body
thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming : Woo Hoo, what a
ride!

Exercise Routine

If you're over 35, you might want to take it easy at first, then do it faster as you become more proficient. It may be too strenuous for some.

Always consult your doctor before starting any exercise program!

SCROLL DOWN............

NOW SCROLL UP..

That's enough for the first day.

Great job.

Have a glass of wine.

Flood · 12-02-2007, 07:44 PM

pmsl... Good one, Mary!! I'm feeling better already!

Starlight · 12-02-2007, 08:36 PM

Another good one Mary

mollie · 12-02-2007, 08:50 PM

Excellent Mary........lmao

Waks · 12-02-2007, 08:50 PM

pmsl...I like that one

nanna · 13-02-2007, 08:37 AM

pmsl Mary, that was good, in fact excellent why do I bother trying to diet?, lol

Nanna

12-02-2007, 12:41 PM	#1 (permalink)
petal Super Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Horncastle, Lincolnshire Posts: 8,637 Total Awards: 5	Health Discussion HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap. Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables? A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products. Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up! Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc. Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good! Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you? Q: Is chocolate bad for me? A: Are you crazy? HELLO. Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around! Q: Is swimming good for your figure? A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me. Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. And remember: Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming : Woo Hoo, what a ride! Exercise Routine If you're over 35, you might want to take it easy at first, then do it faster as you become more proficient. It may be too strenuous for some. Always consult your doctor before starting any exercise program! SCROLL DOWN............ NOW SCROLL UP.. That's enough for the first day. Great job. Have a glass of wine.
	(AKA Mary) How beautiful it is to do nothing and rest afterwards...

12-02-2007, 07:44 PM	#2 (permalink)
Flood AA SUPPORTER Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: A great place in Devon called Tiverton. Posts: 5,022 Total Awards: 4	Re: Health Discussion pmsl... Good one, Mary!! I'm feeling better already!

12-02-2007, 08:36 PM	#3 (permalink)
Starlight Ancestry Aid Manager Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: South Essex Posts: 16,355 Total Awards: 8	Re: Health Discussion Another good one Mary
	Starlight Ancestry Aid Manager Hampshire:- Barks, Bartholomew, Carpenter, Cousens, Cousins, Dumper, Gallagher, Goodchild, Glasspool, Hoskins, Light, Mason, Monday, Mundy, Pearce, Pitt, Shepherd, Spreadbury, Staniford, Terrill, Thornton, Warne, Webb, Woodford & many more. Top Tip: Use the forum search engine

12-02-2007, 08:50 PM	#4 (permalink)
mollie Ancestry Aid Staff Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Isle of Man Posts: 1,686 Total Awards: 2	Re: Health Discussion *Excellent Mary........lmao*
	Mollie Ancestry Aid Moderator The UK's No 1 For Genealogy & Family History. Top Tip: Use the forum search page to find surnames!!. Dunne,McManus, McCann,O'Dowd, Higgins, Smith, Traynor, O'Byrne, Lamond/t Henry/Nicolson/Bowman/McCafferty/Keelan and more....did I say Smith...oh yes I did...we all have one.........lol

12-02-2007, 08:50 PM	#5 (permalink)
Waks Ancestry Aid Staff Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 7,124 Total Awards: 2	Re: Health Discussion pmsl...I like that one
	*Helen.....* Searching: Horstead, Richardson, Stemmerman, Culloden, Walker, Elford, Broadhead, Lightowler.

13-02-2007, 08:37 AM	#6 (permalink)
nanna Ancestry Aid Staff Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Liverpool, Merseyside.U.K Posts: 11,524 Total Awards: 3	Re: Health Discussion pmsl Mary, that was good, in fact excellent why do I bother trying to diet?, lol Nanna
	Nanna Ancestry Aid Moderator The UK's No 1 For Genealogy & Family History. Researching Crowe,Radcliffe,Sayle,Quarrie,Comaish,Lee (Isle-of-Man,Liverpool & Birkenhead) Swift (Liverpool & Lancashire) Peters (Anglesey,Liverpool & Widnes) McCabe,Williams (Liverpool) Thomas (Anglesey)