Thread: Shopping at Tescos..........lol

petal · 12-02-2007, 12:21 PM

This letter was recently sent by Tesco\'s Head Office to a customer in Oxford:

Dear Mrs. Murray,

While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty
Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and
your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our
surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people\'s
trolleys when they weren\'t looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

.3 July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
\"Code 3\" in housewares..... and watched what happened.

4. August 14: Moved a \'CAUTION - WET FLOOR\' sign to a carpeted area.

5. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told
shoppers he\'d invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas
stove.

6. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he
began to cry and asked, \"Why can\'t you people just leave me alone?\"

7. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror,
picked his nose, and ate it.

8. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the
Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants
were.

9. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the
\"Mission Impossible\" theme.

10. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practiced the \"Madonna look\"
using different size funnels.

11. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled
\"PICK ME!\" \"PICK ME!\"

12. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed
the fetal position and screamed \"NO! NO! It\'s those voices again.\"

And; last, but not least:

13. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while;
then yelled, very loudly, \"There is no toilet paper in here.\"

Yours sincerely,

Charles Brown
Store Manager

Flood · 12-02-2007, 07:46 PM

Haven't we all done that? Just me? Oh well..... pmsl!!

Starlight · 12-02-2007, 08:39 PM

Great one Mary. If only I had the nerve I know which one I'd love to do.

mollie · 12-02-2007, 08:45 PM

PMSL......loved that one..........have been known to do some stuff in supermarkets myself. Haven't done the condoms one but did put sanitary products in the trolleys of men who were shopping alone.. Also nicked carrots from a womans trolley one Christmas Eve as there were none left on the shelf (I paid for them at the checkout) ......................often wonder what she thought when she realised she had no carrots for her Chrimbo Dinner..........pmsl

12-02-2007, 12:21 PM	#1 (permalink)
petal Super Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Horncastle, Lincolnshire Posts: 8,637 Total Awards: 5	Shopping at Tescos..........lol This letter was recently sent by Tesco\'s Head Office to a customer in Oxford: Dear Mrs. Murray, While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras: 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people\'s trolleys when they weren\'t looking. 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. .3 July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, \"Code 3\" in housewares..... and watched what happened. 4. August 14: Moved a \'CAUTION - WET FLOOR\' sign to a carpeted area. 5. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he\'d invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove. 6. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, \"Why can\'t you people just leave me alone?\" 7. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it. 8. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were. 9. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the \"Mission Impossible\" theme. 10. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practiced the \"Madonna look\" using different size funnels. 11. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled \"PICK ME!\" \"PICK ME!\" 12. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the fetal position and screamed \"NO! NO! It\'s those voices again.\" And; last, but not least: 13. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, \"There is no toilet paper in here.\" Yours sincerely, Charles Brown Store Manager
	(AKA Mary) How beautiful it is to do nothing and rest afterwards...

12-02-2007, 07:46 PM	#2 (permalink)
Flood AA SUPPORTER Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: A great place in Devon called Tiverton. Posts: 5,022 Total Awards: 4	Re: Shopping at Tescos..........lol Haven't we all done that? Just me? Oh well..... pmsl!!

12-02-2007, 08:39 PM	#3 (permalink)
Starlight Ancestry Aid Manager Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: South Essex Posts: 16,355 Total Awards: 8	Re: Shopping at Tescos..........lol Great one Mary. If only I had the nerve I know which one I'd love to do.
	Starlight Ancestry Aid Manager Hampshire:- Barks, Bartholomew, Carpenter, Cousens, Cousins, Dumper, Gallagher, Goodchild, Glasspool, Hoskins, Light, Mason, Monday, Mundy, Pearce, Pitt, Shepherd, Spreadbury, Staniford, Terrill, Thornton, Warne, Webb, Woodford & many more. Top Tip: Use the forum search engine

12-02-2007, 08:45 PM	#4 (permalink)
mollie Ancestry Aid Staff Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Isle of Man Posts: 1,686 Total Awards: 2	Re: Shopping at Tescos..........lol PMSL......loved that one..........have been known to do some stuff in supermarkets myself. Haven't done the condoms one but did put sanitary products in the trolleys of men who were shopping alone.. Also nicked carrots from a womans trolley one Christmas Eve as there were none left on the shelf (I paid for them at the checkout) ......................often wonder what she thought when she realised she had no carrots for her Chrimbo Dinner..........pmsl
	Mollie Ancestry Aid Moderator The UK's No 1 For Genealogy & Family History. Top Tip: Use the forum search page to find surnames!!. Dunne,McManus, McCann,O'Dowd, Higgins, Smith, Traynor, O'Byrne, Lamond/t Henry/Nicolson/Bowman/McCafferty/Keelan and more....did I say Smith...oh yes I did...we all have one.........lol