Thread: Essex Earthquake Appeal

petal · 19-01-2007, 11:22 AM

(Apologies to anyone from Essex.............)

ESSEX EARTHQUAKE APPEAL

A major earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter scale hit in the early hours of Monday 24th May 2004. Epicentre: Basildon, Essex.
Victims were seen wandering around aimless muttering "fa****kin ell".
The earthquake decimated the area causing approximately £30 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from the Balearics and Spanish Costa's were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their giro arrived. Essex FM (County Radio Station) reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered, still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Basildon. One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was watching Kilroy the next morning." Apparently though, looting, muggings and car crime did carry on as normal.The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from Pound land. HOW CAN YOU HELP?
This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing, parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most sought after, items most needed include: Fila or Burberry baseball caps, Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers) Shell suits (female) White sport socks, Rockport boots and any other items usually sold in Primark. Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same. Required foodstuffs include Microwave meals Tins of baked beans, Ice cream, Cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew. 22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms, £2 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9 £5 will pay for a packet of B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.
**Breaking news**
Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in Claret -'where are you bleeding from?' they asked - "ROMFORD" said the girl, "woss that got to do with it?"

Flood · 19-01-2007, 06:23 PM

I think we've already had that one, haven't we?

anny · 19-01-2007, 07:24 PM

I feel obligated, as an Essex girl, to say that I am Not Amused, but really I find it terribly funny. The final sentence particularly cracks me up.
Where do you find them, Mary ?

Starlight · 21-01-2007, 02:14 AM

Hi Mary,

I remember buying my daughters this sort of stuff a few years ago for Christmas, but they wouldn't be seen dead in it now.

petal · 21-01-2007, 12:03 PM

Our lad's a definite 'chav'...........track suits and burberry...........lol

19-01-2007, 11:22 AM	#1 (permalink)
petal Super Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Horncastle, Lincolnshire Posts: 8,637 Total Awards: 5	Essex Earthquake Appeal (Apologies to anyone from Essex.............) ESSEX EARTHQUAKE APPEAL A major earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter scale hit in the early hours of Monday 24th May 2004. Epicentre: Basildon, Essex. Victims were seen wandering around aimless muttering "fa**kin ell". The earthquake decimated the area causing approximately £30 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from the Balearics and Spanish Costa's were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their giro arrived. Essex FM (County Radio Station) reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered, still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Basildon. One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was watching Kilroy the next morning." Apparently though, looting, muggings and car crime did carry on as normal.The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from Pound land. HOW CAN YOU HELP? This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing, parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most sought after, items most needed include: Fila or Burberry baseball caps, Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers) Shell suits (female) White sport socks, Rockport boots and any other items usually sold in Primark. Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same. Required foodstuffs include Microwave meals Tins of baked beans, Ice cream, Cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew. 22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms, £2 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9 £5 will pay for a packet of B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected. Breaking news** Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in Claret -'where are you bleeding from?' they asked - "ROMFORD" said the girl, "woss that got to do with it?"
	(AKA Mary) How beautiful it is to do nothing and rest afterwards...

19-01-2007, 06:23 PM	#2 (permalink)
Flood AA SUPPORTER Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: A great place in Devon called Tiverton. Posts: 5,022 Total Awards: 4	Re: Essex Earthquake Appeal I think we've already had that one, haven't we?

19-01-2007, 07:24 PM	#3 (permalink)
anny AA SUPPORTER Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: West Lothian Posts: 12,025 Total Awards: 4	Re: Essex Earthquake Appeal I feel obligated, as an Essex girl, to say that I am Not Amused, but really I find it terribly funny. The final sentence particularly cracks me up. Where do you find them, Mary ?

21-01-2007, 02:14 AM	#4 (permalink)
Starlight Ancestry Aid Manager Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: South Essex Posts: 16,355 Total Awards: 8	Re: Essex Earthquake Appeal Hi Mary, I remember buying my daughters this sort of stuff a few years ago for Christmas, but they wouldn't be seen dead in it now.
	Starlight Ancestry Aid Manager Hampshire:- Barks, Bartholomew, Carpenter, Cousens, Cousins, Dumper, Gallagher, Goodchild, Glasspool, Hoskins, Light, Mason, Monday, Mundy, Pearce, Pitt, Shepherd, Spreadbury, Staniford, Terrill, Thornton, Warne, Webb, Woodford & many more. Top Tip: Use the forum search engine

21-01-2007, 12:03 PM	#5 (permalink)
petal Super Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Horncastle, Lincolnshire Posts: 8,637 Total Awards: 5	Re: Essex Earthquake Appeal Our lad's a definite 'chav'...........track suits and burberry...........lol
	(AKA Mary) How beautiful it is to do nothing and rest afterwards...