Thread: For Vel

petal · 05-01-2007, 07:42 PM

(Daren't show this to Bill..................lol)

Q. What is the height of optimism?
A. An English batsman putting on sunscreen.

Q. What would Glenn McGrath be if he was English?
A. An all rounder.

Q. What is the main function of the England coach?
A. To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.

Q. Why is freddie flintoff the unluckiest bowler on tour?
A. Because he was born in England.

Q. What's the English version of a hat trick?
A. Three runs in three balls.

Q. Why don't English fielders need pre tour travel injections?
A. Because they never catch anything.

Q. What's the English version of LBW?
A. Lost, Beaten and Walloped.

Q. What do you call a Englishman with 100 runs against his name?
A. A bowler.

Q. What's the most proficient form of footwork displayed by Strauss?
A. The walk back to the pavilion.

Q. Who has the easiest job in the England touring party?
A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats.

Q. What does "Ashes" stand for?
A. Another Sad Horrific English Series.

Q. What do English batsmen and drug addicts have in common?
A. Both spend most of their time wondering where their next score
will come from.

Q. Why are English cricketers cleverer than Houdini?
A. Because they can get out without even trying.

Q. What does Harmison put in his hands to make sure the next ball
almost always takes a wicket?
A. A bat."

lozzie · 05-01-2007, 07:46 PM

PMSL ROFLMAO!!!!

BRILLIANT MARY!

Loz

Kate · 05-01-2007, 08:44 PM

I'm not saying a word.

He he he he he he.

petal · 05-01-2007, 08:49 PM

Best not Kate. My hubby was not a happy chappy.............lol

janet · 05-01-2007, 10:46 PM

Bit Harsh Mary!!! lol

Jan

Flood · 06-01-2007, 05:32 PM

I agree with Jan! pmsl though. Am a huge cricket fan and I say we deserved to lose.

05-01-2007, 07:42 PM	#1 (permalink)
petal Super Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Horncastle, Lincolnshire Posts: 8,637 Total Awards: 5	For Vel (Daren't show this to Bill..................lol) Q. What is the height of optimism? A. An English batsman putting on sunscreen. Q. What would Glenn McGrath be if he was English? A. An all rounder. Q. What is the main function of the England coach? A. To transport the team from the hotel to the ground. Q. Why is freddie flintoff the unluckiest bowler on tour? A. Because he was born in England. Q. What's the English version of a hat trick? A. Three runs in three balls. Q. Why don't English fielders need pre tour travel injections? A. Because they never catch anything. Q. What's the English version of LBW? A. Lost, Beaten and Walloped. Q. What do you call a Englishman with 100 runs against his name? A. A bowler. Q. What's the most proficient form of footwork displayed by Strauss? A. The walk back to the pavilion. Q. Who has the easiest job in the England touring party? A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats. Q. What does "Ashes" stand for? A. Another Sad Horrific English Series. Q. What do English batsmen and drug addicts have in common? A. Both spend most of their time wondering where their next score will come from. Q. Why are English cricketers cleverer than Houdini? A. Because they can get out without even trying. Q. What does Harmison put in his hands to make sure the next ball almost always takes a wicket? A. A bat."
	(AKA Mary) How beautiful it is to do nothing and rest afterwards...

05-01-2007, 07:46 PM	#2 (permalink)
lozzie AA SUPPORTER Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: At Home Posts: 2,270 Total Awards: 3	Re: For Vel PMSL ROFLMAO!!!! BRILLIANT MARY! Loz
	Loz *AKA Billie No Mates* *Researching: Me ancestors!!!!!*

05-01-2007, 08:44 PM	#3 (permalink)
Kate Advanced Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Sydney Australia Posts: 361 Total Awards: 4	Re: For Vel I'm not saying a word. He he he he he he.

05-01-2007, 08:49 PM	#4 (permalink)
petal Super Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Horncastle, Lincolnshire Posts: 8,637 Total Awards: 5	Re: For Vel Best not Kate. My hubby was not a happy chappy.............lol
	(AKA Mary) How beautiful it is to do nothing and rest afterwards...

05-01-2007, 10:46 PM	#5 (permalink)
janet Super Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Near Chester Posts: 3,892	Re: For Vel Bit Harsh Mary!!! lol Jan
	Trust can take years to form........but moments to SHATTER

06-01-2007, 05:32 PM	#6 (permalink)
Flood AA SUPPORTER Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: A great place in Devon called Tiverton. Posts: 5,022 Total Awards: 4	Re: For Vel I agree with Jan! pmsl though. Am a huge cricket fan and I say we deserved to lose.