Thread: Random Thoughts of an Older Woman

petal · 15-06-2006, 03:32 PM

A woman's random thoughts
---------------------------------------------------------------------Something those of us of a certain age will really appreciate!

Insanity is my only means of relaxation.

Reason to smile: Every 7 minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.

Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them.

One of life's mysteries is how a 2 pound box of candy can make a woman gain 5 pounds.

My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.

The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you're doing, someone else does.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.

Just when I was used to yesterday, along came today.

Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.

Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks two sizes!

Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like, "you know sometimes I just forget to eat." Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my keys. But I've never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.

A friend of mine confused her valium with her birth control pills. She had 14 kids, but she doesn't really care.

They keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies. Mine isn't all that communicative but I heard from it the other day after I said, "Body, how'd you like to go to the six o'clock class in vigorous toning?" Clear as a bell my body said, "listen witch...do it and die!"

I know what Victoria's Secret is. The secret is that nobody older than 30 can fit into their stuff.

If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck?

Chris · 15-06-2006, 05:48 PM

Ops can relate to a few of them m8

But oh so true

nanna · 15-06-2006, 11:22 PM

Like Chris, can also relate to not just a few but quite a lot of these Mary. How very true they are and all.........

15-06-2006, 03:32 PM	#1 (permalink)
petal Super Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Horncastle, Lincolnshire Posts: 8,637 Total Awards: 5	Random Thoughts of an Older Woman A woman's random thoughts ---------------------------------------------------------------------Something those of us of a certain age will really appreciate! Insanity is my only means of relaxation. Reason to smile: Every 7 minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring. Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them. One of life's mysteries is how a 2 pound box of candy can make a woman gain 5 pounds. My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely. The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes. The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you're doing, someone else does. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends. Just when I was used to yesterday, along came today. Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness. Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks two sizes! Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like, "you know sometimes I just forget to eat." Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my keys. But I've never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat. A friend of mine confused her valium with her birth control pills. She had 14 kids, but she doesn't really care. They keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies. Mine isn't all that communicative but I heard from it the other day after I said, "Body, how'd you like to go to the six o'clock class in vigorous toning?" Clear as a bell my body said, "listen witch...do it and die!" I know what Victoria's Secret is. The secret is that nobody older than 30 can fit into their stuff. If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck?
	(AKA Mary) How beautiful it is to do nothing and rest afterwards...

15-06-2006, 05:48 PM	#2 (permalink)
Chris Ancestry Aid Owner Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: UK - England Posts: 5,581	Re: Random Thoughts of an Older Woman Ops can relate to a few of them m8 But oh so true
	Chris Ancestry Aid Owner

15-06-2006, 11:22 PM	#3 (permalink)
nanna Ancestry Aid Staff Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Liverpool, Merseyside.U.K Posts: 11,524 Total Awards: 3	Re: Random Thoughts of an Older Woman Like Chris, can also relate to not just a few but quite a lot of these Mary. How very true they are and all.........
	Nanna Ancestry Aid Moderator The UK's No 1 For Genealogy & Family History. Researching Crowe,Radcliffe,Sayle,Quarrie,Comaish,Lee (Isle-of-Man,Liverpool & Birkenhead) Swift (Liverpool & Lancashire) Peters (Anglesey,Liverpool & Widnes) McCabe,Williams (Liverpool) Thomas (Anglesey)