02-05-2008, 03:00 PM
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#182 (permalink) |
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New Member
  
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Adelaide, South Australia
Posts: 16
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Early Genealogy
This made me smile, hope it does the same for you.
A little girl asked her mother, 'How did the human race appear?'The mother answered, 'God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so was all mankind made.' A few days later the girl asked her father the same question. The father answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the Human race evolved.' The confused girl returned to her mother and said, 'Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?' The mother answered, 'Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his.'  |
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05-05-2008, 07:03 AM
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#185 (permalink) |
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Advanced Member
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Re: Post your jokes here (keep em clean)
The teacher asked the class if anyone knew what a comet was.
Little Johnny's hand shot up. The teacher said, "Yes, Johnny?" "I know, miss, it's a star with a tail." "Okay, Johnny, very good. Can you name one?" "Um....Mickey Mouse?" |
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05-05-2008, 07:08 AM
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#186 (permalink) |
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Advanced Member
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Re: Laugh for the day
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her
husband stalking around with a fly swatter 'What are you doing?' she asked. 'Hunting flies,' he responded. 'Oh. Killing any?' she asked. 'Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,' he replied. Intrigued, she asked, 'How could you tell?' 'Easy', he answered, '3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone.'  Last edited by Cherilyn; 05-05-2008 at 07:12 AM. |
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Researching: Faas & Dekker (Netherlands); Hunter & Barnsley (UK & Western Australia), Williams, Kelly, Willis, Bagshaw, Stone (UK), Kraushaar & Fesenmeyer (Germany & Australia); McMeekin (Antrim, Ireland & Western Australia); Liddell, Gutcher, Mowat & Gray (Orkney, Scotland & Australia); Wyllie & Trevena (Australia).
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06-05-2008, 07:57 AM
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#187 (permalink) |
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New Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Adelaide, South Australia
Posts: 16
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Re: Post your jokes here (keep em clean)
What a difference a comma can make, here is a well-known example of how punctuation can entirely change the meaning of a letter, from fawning adoration to snide disregard!
Dear John: I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy--will you let me be yours? Gloria Compared with ... Dear John: I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be? Yours, Gloria. |
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14-05-2008, 01:29 PM
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#189 (permalink) |
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Super Member
  
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Re: Post your jokes here (keep em clean)
The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman and was somewhat upset -- "You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce straight away!" And the husband replied "Hang on just a minute Love, so at least I can tell you what happened." "Fine, go ahead," she sobbed, "but they'll be the last words you'll ever say to me!! And the husband began -- "Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenceless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was thin, poorly dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days ! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night - the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments. Since she needed a good clean up I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, But don't use because you say they are too tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your Anniversary present, which you don't use because I don't have good taste. I went and found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas - the one that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at that expensive shoe boutique and don't use because someone at work has a pair the same." The husband took a quick breath and continued - "She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, "Please, do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?" Ken   |
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Researching
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14-05-2008, 04:43 PM
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#190 (permalink) |
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Ancestry Aid Staff
 
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Re: Post your jokes here (keep em clean)
lol, very good Ken
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Nanna
Ancestry Aid Moderator The UK's No 1 For Genealogy & Family History. Researching Crowe,Radcliffe,Sayle,Quarrie,Comaish,Lee (Isle-of-Man,Liverpool & Birkenhead) Swift (Liverpool & Lancashire) Peters (Anglesey,Liverpool & Widnes) McCabe,Williams (Liverpool) Thomas (Anglesey) |
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Re: Post your jokes here (keep em clean)
