Thread: Smile for the day

Shan · 08-05-2006, 05:21 PM

Hi All as you know, from time to time i post the above

well as i cant always find a good one, maybe some of you would like to post one

I think it will do us all good to start the day with a smile

Please keep them clean

if you would like to post, continue on this thread, that way we wont be taking up more space than is needed.

Look forward to seeing them

xx
Me

Shan · 10-05-2006, 07:49 PM

OK you boring lot

Here is todays Smile
Click the link

http://www.flashfunpages.com/saggy.html

Shan · 11-05-2006, 07:07 PM

Thursday smile for the day

The worlds funniest babies

click the link

http://www.flashfunpages.com/babies.htm

mollie · 12-05-2006, 12:15 AM

Here's a nice smile for you all

http://www.poofcat.com/love4.html

Shan · 13-05-2006, 08:08 PM

Nudgeing for Mary and others that have missed it

Shan · 13-05-2006, 08:16 PM

hi Mol
That was a very nice smile
thanks
xx
me

petal · 13-05-2006, 11:24 PM

What not to name your dog!

Everybody who has a dog calls him ‘Rover’ or ‘Boy’ or some other standard name. I call mine ‘Sex’, which has been very embarrassing for me. When I went to the city hall to renew his dog licence, I told the clerk that I would like to have a licence for sex, he said he would like to have one too. I tried to explain that this licence was for a dog. He said he didn’t care what she looked like. Then I said, “But you don’t understand, I have had a licence since I was nine years old!” He said that I must have been quite a kid.
I took my dog on honeymoon. I told the hotel clerk that I wanted a room for myself an my wife and a separate room for sex. He said that every room in the place was for sex and I replied, “you don’t understand, sex keeps me awake at night,” he replied, “me too”.
I entered sex in a dog contest, but he ran away before the competition began. Another competitor asked me why I was standing there looking around, I told him that I planned to have sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold tickets, I said, “but you don’t understand, I had hoped to have sex on the tv”. He called me a show off.
When my wife and I separated we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, “Your honour, I had sex before I was married”. The judge said, “me too”.
Last night sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around for him. A policeman came over to me and asked me what I was doing in the alley at four in the morning, I told him I was looking for sex.
My case comes up on Friday.

mollie · 14-05-2006, 07:53 PM

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

mollie · 14-05-2006, 08:17 PM

Fast Pope
The Pope arrives at JFK and he's met at a baggage claim by a driver in a bad suit and a clip-on tie, holding a hand-lettered sign that says, "Pope."

After getting all the Pope's luggage loaded in the limo-and His Holiness doesn't travel light, the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb.

"Hey, Mr. Pope," says the driver in accented English, "Why have you not seated yourself in the excellent limo?"

"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "They never let me drive at the Vatican, and I'd really like to drive."

"That is very much against the rules!" protested the driver, wishing he'd never left Calcutta.

"There might be something extra in it for you," said the Pope.

Reluctantly, the driver got in the back as the Pope got in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regretted his decision when, after clearing the airport, the Pope accelerated the limo to 105 mph.

"Please be driving not so rapidly, Mr. Pope," pleaded the worried driver, but the Pope kept the pedal to the metal. Then they heard the siren.

"Oh, my Gods, now I am surely losing my license," moaned the driver.

The Pope pulled over and rolled down the window as the patrolman approached, but the cop took one look at him, went back to his motorcycle, and got on the radio.

"I need to talk to the Chief," he said to the dispatch.

When the Chief got on the radio, the cop told him that he'd stopped a limo going a hundred and five.

"So bust him," said the Chief.

"I think the guy's a big shot," said the cop.

"All the more reason."

"No, I mean really a big shot," said the cop.

"What'd ya got there, the Mayor?"

"Bigger."

"Governor."

"Bigger."

"Well," said the Chief, "Who is it?"

"I don't know," said the cop. "But he's got the Pope driving for him."

mollie · 14-05-2006, 08:31 PM

Q: Did you hear the one about the two kids who tried to kiss in the fog?

A: They mist!

Q: What did the dentist give the marching band?

A: A tuba toothpaste!

Q: What did the lawyer name his daughter?

A: Sue!

Q: What do you call a hippie's wife?

A: Mississippi

Q: Why was the scientist's head wet?

A: Because he had a brainstorm!

Think thats enough for now............lol

08-05-2006, 05:21 PM	#1 (permalink)
Shan Super Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Hampshire Posts: 1,747 Total Awards: 1	Smile for the day Hi All as you know, from time to time i post the above well as i cant always find a good one, maybe some of you would like to post one I think it will do us all good to start the day with a smile Please keep them clean if you would like to post, continue on this thread, that way we wont be taking up more space than is needed. Look forward to seeing them xx Me
	Shan *Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life* The UK's No 1 For Genealogy & Family History. Top Tip: Use the forum search page to find surnames!!.

10-05-2006, 07:49 PM	#2 (permalink)
Shan Super Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Hampshire Posts: 1,747 Total Awards: 1	Re: Smile for the day OK you boring lot Here is todays Smile Click the link http://www.flashfunpages.com/saggy.html
	Shan *Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life* The UK's No 1 For Genealogy & Family History. Top Tip: Use the forum search page to find surnames!!.

11-05-2006, 07:07 PM	#3 (permalink)
Shan Super Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Hampshire Posts: 1,747 Total Awards: 1	Re: Smile for the day Thursday smile for the day The worlds funniest babies click the link http://www.flashfunpages.com/babies.htm
	Shan *Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life* The UK's No 1 For Genealogy & Family History. Top Tip: Use the forum search page to find surnames!!.

12-05-2006, 12:15 AM	#4 (permalink)
mollie Ancestry Aid Staff Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Isle of Man Posts: 1,686 Total Awards: 2	Re: Smile for the day *Here's a nice smile for you all* http://www.poofcat.com/love4.html
	Mollie Ancestry Aid Moderator The UK's No 1 For Genealogy & Family History. Top Tip: Use the forum search page to find surnames!!. Dunne,McManus, McCann,O'Dowd, Higgins, Smith, Traynor, O'Byrne, Lamond/t Henry/Nicolson/Bowman/McCafferty/Keelan and more....did I say Smith...oh yes I did...we all have one.........lol

13-05-2006, 08:08 PM	#5 (permalink)
Shan Super Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Hampshire Posts: 1,747 Total Awards: 1	Re: Smile for the day Nudgeing for Mary and others that have missed it
	Shan *Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life* The UK's No 1 For Genealogy & Family History. Top Tip: Use the forum search page to find surnames!!.

13-05-2006, 08:16 PM	#6 (permalink)
Shan Super Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Hampshire Posts: 1,747 Total Awards: 1	Re: Smile for the day hi Mol That was a very nice smile thanks xx me
	Shan *Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life* The UK's No 1 For Genealogy & Family History. Top Tip: Use the forum search page to find surnames!!.

13-05-2006, 11:24 PM	#7 (permalink)
petal Super Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Horncastle, Lincolnshire Posts: 8,637 Total Awards: 5	Re: Smile for the day What not to name your dog! Everybody who has a dog calls him ‘Rover’ or ‘Boy’ or some other standard name. I call mine ‘Sex’, which has been very embarrassing for me. When I went to the city hall to renew his dog licence, I told the clerk that I would like to have a licence for sex, he said he would like to have one too. I tried to explain that this licence was for a dog. He said he didn’t care what she looked like. Then I said, “But you don’t understand, I have had a licence since I was nine years old!” He said that I must have been quite a kid. I took my dog on honeymoon. I told the hotel clerk that I wanted a room for myself an my wife and a separate room for sex. He said that every room in the place was for sex and I replied, “you don’t understand, sex keeps me awake at night,” he replied, “me too”. I entered sex in a dog contest, but he ran away before the competition began. Another competitor asked me why I was standing there looking around, I told him that I planned to have sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold tickets, I said, “but you don’t understand, I had hoped to have sex on the tv”. He called me a show off. When my wife and I separated we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, “Your honour, I had sex before I was married”. The judge said, “me too”. Last night sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around for him. A policeman came over to me and asked me what I was doing in the alley at four in the morning, I told him I was looking for sex. My case comes up on Friday.
	(AKA Mary) How beautiful it is to do nothing and rest afterwards...

14-05-2006, 07:53 PM	#8 (permalink)
mollie Ancestry Aid Staff Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Isle of Man Posts: 1,686 Total Awards: 2	Little joke (slightly naughty) *As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."* *She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"* *A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".*
	Mollie Ancestry Aid Moderator The UK's No 1 For Genealogy & Family History. Top Tip: Use the forum search page to find surnames!!. Dunne,McManus, McCann,O'Dowd, Higgins, Smith, Traynor, O'Byrne, Lamond/t Henry/Nicolson/Bowman/McCafferty/Keelan and more....did I say Smith...oh yes I did...we all have one.........lol

14-05-2006, 08:17 PM	#9 (permalink)
mollie Ancestry Aid Staff Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Isle of Man Posts: 1,686 Total Awards: 2	Another Joke *Fast Pope* The Pope arrives at JFK and he's met at a baggage claim by a driver in a bad suit and a clip-on tie, holding a hand-lettered sign that says, "Pope." After getting all the Pope's luggage loaded in the limo-and His Holiness doesn't travel light, the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb. "Hey, Mr. Pope," says the driver in accented English, "Why have you not seated yourself in the excellent limo?" "Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "They never let me drive at the Vatican, and I'd really like to drive." "That is very much against the rules!" protested the driver, wishing he'd never left Calcutta. "There might be something extra in it for you," said the Pope. Reluctantly, the driver got in the back as the Pope got in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regretted his decision when, after clearing the airport, the Pope accelerated the limo to 105 mph. "Please be driving not so rapidly, Mr. Pope," pleaded the worried driver, but the Pope kept the pedal to the metal. Then they heard the siren. "Oh, my Gods, now I am surely losing my license," moaned the driver. The Pope pulled over and rolled down the window as the patrolman approached, but the cop took one look at him, went back to his motorcycle, and got on the radio. "I need to talk to the Chief," he said to the dispatch. When the Chief got on the radio, the cop told him that he'd stopped a limo going a hundred and five. "So bust him," said the Chief. "I think the guy's a big shot," said the cop. "All the more reason." "No, I mean really a big shot," said the cop. "What'd ya got there, the Mayor?" "Bigger." "Governor." "Bigger." "Well," said the Chief, "Who is it?" "I don't know," said the cop. "But he's got the Pope driving for him."
	Mollie Ancestry Aid Moderator The UK's No 1 For Genealogy & Family History. Top Tip: Use the forum search page to find surnames!!. Dunne,McManus, McCann,O'Dowd, Higgins, Smith, Traynor, O'Byrne, Lamond/t Henry/Nicolson/Bowman/McCafferty/Keelan and more....did I say Smith...oh yes I did...we all have one.........lol

14-05-2006, 08:31 PM	#10 (permalink)
mollie Ancestry Aid Staff Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Isle of Man Posts: 1,686 Total Awards: 2	Kids Jokes Q: Did you hear the one about the two kids who tried to kiss in the fog? A: They mist! Q: What did the dentist give the marching band? A: A tuba toothpaste! Q: What did the lawyer name his daughter? A: Sue! Q: What do you call a hippie's wife? A: Mississippi Q: Why was the scientist's head wet? A: Because he had a brainstorm! Think thats enough for now............lol
	Mollie Ancestry Aid Moderator The UK's No 1 For Genealogy & Family History. Top Tip: Use the forum search page to find surnames!!. Dunne,McManus, McCann,O'Dowd, Higgins, Smith, Traynor, O'Byrne, Lamond/t Henry/Nicolson/Bowman/McCafferty/Keelan and more....did I say Smith...oh yes I did...we all have one.........lol