Thread: Good Morning

Black Sheep

A family historian who was writing his family history was
dismayed to find that an ancestor had been publicly
hanged. In a moment of inspiration he wrote "He died
during a public ceremony, when the platform upon which he
was standing collapsed beneath him."

Another family historian finding that a relative had been
sent to the "chair" wrote "At the time of his death, he
occupied a chair of applied electricity at one of our most
famous institutions."
--Author Unknown

A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him
flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the new business site and the
owner read the card, "Rest in Peace."

The owner was angry and called the florist to complain.

After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was,
the florist replied, "Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than
getting angry, you should imagine this...somewhere there is a funeral taking
place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, 'Congratulations on
your new location.'"
--Author Unknown

There was a man who had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He
finally went to a doctor one day and was fitted with a hearing aid that was
so small no one could tell he was wearing it.

When he returned for a checkup, he told the doctor he was pleased with the
device -- he could hear perfectly.

"Your family must really be pleased that you can hear again, too," the
doctor said.

"Oh, I haven't told my family yet," the man said. "I just sit around and
listen to their conversations. In fact, I've changed my Will three times."
--Author Unknown