Thread: Bit of humour........lol

petal

Hello, and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on
the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to
the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will
tell you which number to press.

If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you
press-no-one will answer.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until
a representative comes on the line.

If you have amnesia press 8 and state your name, address, phone
number, date of birth, social security number and your mother's
maiden name.

If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully
press 000.

If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep
or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are
too busy to talk to you.

nanna

Good one Mary,

Nanna xx