Thread: Divorce Letter

petal

>Dear Wife,
> >
> >I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.
> >I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show
> >for it.
> >
> >These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me
> >that you quit your job today and that was the last straw.
> >
> >Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new
> >haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of
> >silk boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after
> >watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you
> >don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either
> >you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case,
> >I'm gone.
> >
> >Your EX-Husband
> >P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER, Carla and I are moving away to
> >West Virginia together! Have a great life!
> >
> >
> >
> >Dear Ex-Husband,
> >
> >Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that
> >you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a
> >far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they
> >drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't
> >work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first
> >thing that came to mind was "You look just like a girl!" Since my
> >mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I
> >didn't comment .
> >
> >And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused
> >with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
> >
> >About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99
> >price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence that
> >my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning.
> >
> >After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out.
> >So when I hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and
> >bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
> >Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
> >
> >I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said
> >that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.
> >
> >So take care.
> >
> >Signed,
> >
> >Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!
> >
> >P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born
> >Carl. I hope that's not a problem.

mollie

Chris

lol great Mary

paulettewinter

that is great mary, i really enjoyed this. paulettex

Suey

Very good,lol.

Waks

Flood