Hi Lincs,
please dont give up. We will get there in the end. here is a link to your messages:
http://www.ancestryaid.co.uk/boards/private.php
The easiest way to get to your messages is by clicking the small link that says "Private Messages" below the Welcome message in the top right corner of the forums.
Failing that, click on the "Your Account" link at the top of the forums. In the new page look for the header "Private Messages" below that are some links. The top one is "List Messages", this will take you to your private messages.
Let me know if you need more help, you are being no bother at all, I am happy to help.
Regards